I've noticed what I consider to be a disturbing trend on Facebok lately. There are several pictured posted that say "Every Girl Deserves a Guy Who Will..." and then lists off a certain amount of things that they want their dream guy to do for them. Among the ones I find particularly questionable include: Call her back when she hangs up on him, skip out on guys night to listen to her rantings, hug her when she hits him, tell her he loves her when she tells him she hates him, etc. To the girls who post this, it says "He should love me no matter what." To me, it says "We're allowed to act like brats and they still have to worship us." Hold. The. Phone. Since when is it okay to treat someone however we want and still expect them to be understanding? Not catching my drift? Let's say the tables are reversed. If a girl decides to skip out on a night with her gal pals in order to listen to her guy rant about how overrated Tim Tebow is, no one is going to say "How sweet! She's giving up her social life so she can be there for her man!" No! Everyone would talk about what an abusive and controlling jerk the guy is, and how that girl needs to grow a backbone. So, how is it in any way fair that we ask the same thing of our guys just so we have someone to talk to about how Robert Pattinson just does not do Edward justice? If you need to get it out that bad, get a blog. I'm not saying that girls don't deserve a guy that treats her well. I'm saying don't expect a standard of behavior out of guys that you are not willing to reach yourself.
I sometimes wonder if Christian culture unintentionally feeds this line of thinking. "You deserve the best." "Don't settle for less than a man after God's own heart." "You are the daughter of a King. You deserve someone who will treat you like a princess." That is all true and good, but I feel like it focuses more on the kind of men we should look for, rather than the kind of women we should become. We need good, godly men to share our lives with, yes. But they need good, godly women just as much. For the longest time, I wondered why God didn't just drop an unselfish, loving, strong, Christian guy in my lap. The fact is, I wasn't ready for him yet. In a lot of ways, I'm still not. But, I don't expect my man to be perfect, especially when I'm so far from perfect myself.
Now, don't get me wrong. One of the things I love best about my soon-to-be husband is that he has seen me in some of my absolute worst moments and still loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. To me, that's special, that's exceptional, and it gives me confidence that I'm making the right choice by marrying him. But, does that make it okay for me to treat him badly just because I know he'll forgive me? Absolutely not. If anything, the fact that he's so patient and forgiving with me should make me want to reach for a higher standard of behavior to show how grateful I am to him. I found my prince. But, I realize that it doesn't end there. I need to work every day on becoming his princess. And, more importantly, I need to work every day on becoming the kind of woman God would have me be. So, I guess the point I'm trying to make is, ladies, worry less about the kind of guy you think you deserve, and focus more on becoming the kind of woman who's ready to handle the responsibility of being with that guy.
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